Weekly blog #8 "Being Mean...& What not?"

   Apparently I'm mean. Or so I am told. Hysterically enough, one of my English classes told my English teacher that I was 'mean'. When she asked them what they meant, they told her that I got after them for talking and packing up early and therefore I was 'mean'. This was by far the highlight of my week. She told me that she laughed when they told her this and then told them that she also did that all the time and much worse!  It was a good lesson to me that first must come the relationship and then comes the respect. The students respect my teacher and have a good relationship with her and therefore do not complain when she gets mad at them, but when I do it, they are hurt. This was a funny moment for me, but my teacher reassured me, "It's better to be mean, than a pushover."
      Something that surprised me this week was how diverse the same lesson can be for two different class periods. I always knew that lessons would vary based on the different students in a class but I figured out this lesson even more this week when i was leading a discussion for each class period. Some discussions were incredible and needed very little prompting from me. Other class periods couldn't get passed the first question without needing assistance. This taught me how to be flexible and move with the class the way that it needs to move. For some periods, it is success if they have simply read the chapter. In other periods, it is success if they can analyze the author's purpose behind the chapter and so on and so on. I was able to learn, rather quickly, not to expect the same thing from class to class. I truly had to treat every class like its own entity.
      One thing that I saw this week that I would like to adopt is having students read their books outloud as a class. We had the option of either having just the teacher read, having them read in groups, or having different students take turns reading aloud and the last one was definitely the most profitable. We were able to read more, discuss more, and the students had a better knowledge about what was going on. This definitely took up the entire class period and was more work as the teacher, but if the students are gaining more from this style then I think it is the right one. We also changed our styles of reading the book from period to period. We differentiated the instruction based on what the students truly needed. This was good for me to see because it helped me to realize that everythingt doesn't have to be planned out the same way nor do we have to cover the same material from period to period. As long as the students are learning what they are supposed to be the end of the year, then the structure of the class isn't applicable.

Field Experience Summary

                                                                Summary of Field Experience
            I feel very blessed to be in the position in life that I am currently in. Teaching is becoming a habit and a continued state of living. The more time I spend in the high school, the more comfortable I am there and the more desire I have to stay there. This quarter’s field experience has not been the easiest quarter for me, but has definitely been the most educational. There was many times where I felt inadequate and unwelcome. This was mostly because of the students and their ability to test and try me on a daily basis. I learned more about myself and my goals and desires as a teacher than I did about content areas or teaching patterns.
            I have learned the impact that teachers can have on their students. Positively or negatively, each teacher has the power to mold their students, whether they know it or not.  All teachers have different teaching styles and I have learned that I need to figure out exactly what teacher I want to become. I am learning more about myself as a teacher and through the positive and negative examples of teachers that I see around me, I am developing a clear picture of how I want to be seen as a teacher.
             I have seen that as a teacher you have many different hats to wear. You are the teacher, the friend, the counselor, the disciplinary, the coach and always a role model. I have seen teachers jump quickly from one role to the next and it is eye-opening to see just how much of yourself you have to put into your teaching. You simply cannot teach the content and expect that that is all you will do. Even though gaining knowledge through the content is one of our primary objectives as teachers, it cannot be all that is focused on. I have seen teachers who focus simply on the content and fail to relate it to their student personally. This could be an easy overlook in the daily learning objectives but it has helped me to see that I want everyone lesson to have a real-life applicable meaning. I have also learned that teachers are not perfect. They make mistakes, as I did many times.  They don’t have every detail of every day planned out but if they have the knowledge and passion for what they are teaching then the messages will be heard in a positive light. I truly believe there is no greater calling in life than to be a teacher.
            Even on my most difficult days teaching I still was able to grow as an individual and a teacher. I learned that I can push myself further than I thought possible. I have always felts that my content in some areas are not as strong as others, but I have learned that through patience and perseverance I can teach any subject, as long as I have the dedication and desire to do so. It was the times where my teacher would encourage me to take over a discussion, even though I felt I didn’t know how to direct it to a good path, when I gained a sense of self and independence as a teacher.
             I have always wanted to be a teacher and have never questioned that logic or thought process. It always seemed like such a sure thing. There were definitely days when I thought, “Why am I doing this?” There seemed to be no logical explanation as to why I had even taken this path. As I have been working more with Elementary aged students at my job I have also begun to wonder why I chose secondary aged students from the beginning. Through this quarter I have remembered why I chose this profession. I am in it for the challenge. I want to watch students of all ages and levels grow into the best students and individuals that they can become.
            I want to be the teacher who wouldn’t quit when everyone else did. I want to be the teacher that inspires and motivates students to do and be better. At the end of the day, I could care less whether or not my students know how to properly use a comma or can recite the health and skill related components of fitness. I simply want my students to learn; to learn about life, to learn about them, and to learn how to make a difference. I am proud to be a teacher and proud to be at the high school level. They stretch me on a daily basis and teach me things that I never would have known otherwise. There may be a day in the future when I get my Elementary Ed license and choose to teach younger ages but for now I am very happy with where I am and wouldn’t change it for anything.      
            The school itself demands a certain level of respect from you as a teacher. All schools vary due to students, environment, teachers, and specific curriculum taught. As teachers we associate ourselves with a specific school, school district, principal, etc. As members of that society, it is our job to uphold the characteristics or a teacher both on and off the campus. I have learned that a school is far more than a building that you learn or teach at. Being part of a school is like being part of a family. You all need to work together to make the family functional and successful. I haven’t had a lot of time to really engage into the school activities and become a part of the Lewis & Clark family but I fully intend to this Fall, as I will have much more free time on my hands.
            There are many lessons that I have learned through this past quarter, but the one that I would pass on to another student is to not be step out of your comfort zone and build personal relationships with students. I have gotten close to some students near the end of the quarter, but it took me far too long to learn names or gain relationships. This could be due to the fact that my life is insanely busy but regardless building those relationships is what makes you a better teacher. I wish I would have spent more time getting to know my students. Looking back it is hard to even think of times I would have had free to do this, but I know that making the time and effort to do it would have made all the difference.
            I would also say to not be afraid to make mistakes. I am a perfectionist and struggle with this on a daily basis, but when I was able to admit my faults to myself and to my cooperating teacher about my teaching, I was truly able to learn and grow. My cooperating teachers have both been wonderful to work with. They ask for my input and allow me to lead discussions or games when possible. I also have learned that I can contribute positively to my cooperating teacher’s career as well. I would say don’t be afraid to offer up ideas and new teaching styles. Teaching is an evolving profession and it is something that we can easily contribute to and make better. I have a lot of fun ideas about physical education and ways to improve the structure of the course at Lewis & Clark. I have been able to bring up my ideas with my cooperating teacher and hopefully I will be able to incorporate some of it throughout my student teaching. As long as we have the passion, knowledge and dedication, we cannot fail. Teaching is what we make of it and I for one want to be innovative and make a difference not only in my classroom but in the field of education as a whole.
            I have also learned a lot through my opportunity to be observed. Both observers that I had gave me excellent feedback and were extremely positive and uplifting. You are able to learn so much more about your teaching when you can discuss it with someone who knows the ins and outs of the profession. I love constructive criticism and I know that I can continue to get better and better if I lean upon those fellow teachers and mentors that I have surrounding me. Like I mentioned earlier, being a teacher is being part of a family, an extremely smart family for that matter. We can constantly build on one another’s wisdom and discover the best ways to teach our students.

Winning the Game..Weekly blog #7

   A highlight for me this week was being able to successfully lead a discussion in my English class. My teacher told me ahead of time that I would be teaching on Thursday and that she would let me know what I needed to do for it. Thursday morning rolled around and I had still not received any notifications of my teaching. I was extremely nervous as I walked through the school absolutely unprepared. She decided I would just be leading a 15 minute discussion, which eased my brain quite a bit. I was still quite nervous during each of the discussions because I wanted to make sure I sounded intelligent and like I knew what I was doing.  Each class period got progessively better and my teacher complimented me for my ability to mold to each class and ask continued leading questions. This was a huge confidence builder and I thorougly enjoyed it.
    I have pondered a lot this week about questioning during a discussion. Many of the teaching strategies presented last week were on questioning and I found myself noticing all of the positive and negative aspects of my own questioning strategies. I think being aware of what we are teaching and how we are teaching it is extremely vital to our success as teachers and our students sucess.
    I was observed today and it was a fun experience. I had taught two previous periods before I was observed so I felt prepared but every class is different so there was still some anxiety. My students were very supportive and contributed great to the lesson. While visting with my observer he said something that I will never forget. He was a coach and an adminstrator throughout his career so he knew a bit about motivation. He talked about how you always need to motivate your students in order to win the game. He said, 'Teaching is like playing a different ball game every period, and of course you want to win. When the students learn you win, and they win.' I loved this approach to teaching and I will always remember it during my teaching career.

Inadequacies & Admirations...Weekly Blog #6

   This week I have been dealing with a lot of personal thoughts of inadequacies. My English teacher asked me if I wanted to direct the discussion during one of our periods and felt completely inadqequate due to a lack of content knowledge and shear fear. I don't fail at many things in my life. I am a perfectionist and always trying to excel and be better. I was shocked at my own self-doubts and was saddened by my lack of ability. I know I am capable of teaching but my inadequacies in my content areas make it very difficult for me to overcome some of my self-destructive thoughts and fears. I told her that I wasn't quite comfortable with the content at this time. She was very supportive and didn't try to push me at all. During that period she had a discipline issue that she had to deal with and I told her I could take over. It was a great opportunity for me to prove to myself and her that I am and was capable of taking over if she needed me to. I was very surprised that I have even been having feelings of inadequacies, because I am usually extremely confident. It is good to know that I will always be able to learn and grow from where I am.
    The highlight of my week came from my interactions with my students. One of my 9th graders who is in both of m P.E. and my English classes came up to me and told me that I am her favorite student teacher she has had. She said she ususally hates them because they are 'annoying' and 'don't know how to teach' and I was very relieved to hear her say that. Building relationships with the students is my favorite part and they are definitely the reason that I love teaching.
     I was able to practice the standards based grading system that my English teacher uses in her classroom. She gives them a 1-4 rating and then changes it to display a letter grade (A,B,C, etc.) Students need to be at least at an 85% to receive an A and she makes sure that they know and understand where they are at and why. I really like this practice of teaching and I think it is a good way for students and parents to understand why the student has the certain grade that they have. This way if she has any problems with parents she can simply tell them this is what they have proved to me that they know and can do and this is where they are at in terms of the standard. I think it is a great practice to get in the habit of because standards-based grading is the future wave of education.
     I was perplexed this week by the lack of school dress codes within the school. I can't remember if I have written about this yet but it appears to be no dress code at the school and it bothers me constantly. The things that my girls come in wearing are completely distracting and innapropriate. I don't know if there is anything I can do or say but I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a male teacher.

Teaching: A Sitting & Waiting Game..Weekly Blog #5

  This week I have learned a great deal of patience in my teaching sphere. In my English class I was able to read and grade essays for three straight periods and do the same grading a test in my Health class. At times this seemed very trivial and boring to say the least but it was really great for me to experience what teaching will be like. And after I had an attitude adjustment I began to really enjoy reading through the essays. Granted they were all very similar but it was fun to see what they had to say. Even if the grammar was terrible and the language was far too casual for an essay I enjoyed finding the diamonds in the rough. The essays that weren't perfect but for that specific student, were incredible work. Students are so varied in their likes, dislikes and abilities and I loved being able to get to know them a little better through their writing.
    I have been perplexed on how to teach something that I am not passionate about. This may be because of the mere fact that I have been asked to teach some classes in P.E. and in Health where I am supposed to use my teachers information and I don't necessarily enjoy some of the activities within the lessons. I know this is something that will be very different once I have my own class but it has been a challenge trying to figure out how to be excited about teaching mental illnesses when I can't do it in an engaging manner. This has definitley been food for thought lately.
     My patience has begun to get stretched very thin as of late. My P.E. students are getting used to having me around and are giving me a lot of attitude during class. This could be simply because I am a student teacher but I am learning how to have an 'appropriate' attitude back to them. What I want to do is yell at them and ask them why they think their allowed to be a brat but clearly that wouldn't be an appropriate way to handle the situation.
    The higlight of my week was watching one of my students rise above and be a good example. This student is an 11th grader and is surrounded by a lot of younger students in our P.E. class. He is popular and athletic and gets along well with everyone. There are days when he is defiant but I think it is more the 'cool factor' than anything. While playing sideline soccer this last week I was truly impressed by his kindness. I have another student in the class who is extremely autistic. He hardly ever participates in the activities and enjoys walking rather than being in contact with any of the students. On this particular day, this student started playing sideline soccer. There was an area that got really congested with students and he ended up falling down. I was nervous as to what type of reaction this would elicit. I have seen this student begin crying and run away simply for forgetting to dress down so I was nervous as I was the only one in the gym with my class. This other student, my cool 11th grader went and helped him up and made him feel like it was perfectly normal and that he was proud of him for playing. I was so impressed and I will forever look at this student differently. I hope that I can find ways for all of my students to be advocates for one another and look for ways to be examples of kindness. I will always learn new and wonderful things from my students.

Language..the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly.Weekly Blog Post #4

      The highlight of my week  was being able to lead a discussion with my students while my teaching was not able to be there. We were discussing controversial topics and I was able to  direct the discussions and lead students through an appropriate or away from an inappropriate path. Some students controlled the discussion and other students wouldn't respond to any of the prompts. It was a challenge being able to control the students comments so that they don't completely control the conversation and being able to prompt new students to participate. I loved having the opportunity to be in the lead and find positive ways for students to learn and express their opinons. It is always different per class that you are in, but I was really proud of my students and the positive ways they were able to express their opinons and understanding of the topic at hand.
      This week I have learned a lot about the relationship that I have with my students and how it can be positively or negatively impacted. My students recognize me more often and even say hi to me outside of class. It has been fun to get to know them better and enjoy their presence more and more. The biggest thing that I have struggled with my students lately is how to control the language that both they and I use. I battle between finding too formal and too informal forms of language to use. I am young and therefore they associate with me but  I also struggle with hearing the language that my students use. They have the smallest form of vocabulary and their favorite words to use are highly inappropriate four letter words. I understand that there is not much we as teachers can do to control their language but I hope that I can teach them more appropriate forms of language to express themselves through so that they can be less offensive.
    I have been perplexed with how to handle my teachers talking badly about their students. I know it is normal to have difficult students and is so easy to talk badly about them when they have caused you so much grief. But I want to keep a positive attitude about my students and always try to help them regardless of their previous behavior or difficulties in my classroom. Hopefully this is the type of attitude and behavior that my students will pick up on and be able to emulate throughout their personal affairs with other people.

Teacher Crush..Weekly Blog #3

    This week was amazing!! I finally got to work with my new cooperating teacher in the English department and I am slightly in love. She has so many of the qualities of a teacher that I admire and seek after. From the moment I met her she was friendly, outgoing, valued and asked for my opinion, involved me in her classroom and made me feel welcome. She is passionate, fun, and has a fantastic management ethic. She is in charge and lets her students know it. She does not let them walk over her and yet she is still able to gain strong relationships with her students and create a positive atmosphere conducive to learning. To sum it up, I definitely have a 'teacher crush' on my new cooperating teacher and her teaching style.
     I learned this week not to judge my students or predispose them to any specific expectations. I got to interact and meet three new periods of students for my ninth grade english class. I had already met a few of them in my health and fitness classess but many of them were new to me. They were working on a project to introduce the book To Kill a Mockingbird. They were choosing controversial statements and then within their groups either agreeing or disagreeing with them. This project was brought into a group discussion for the whole class. Students were able to add on to other group topics and it became a healthy discussion. I was very shocked by some of the students who were very studious and came up with clear and concise arguments. We talked about being prejudice and what is meant and how it fits into the world that they know and I was very impressed with the ideas they were able to form and the confidence they were able to share personal and intimate opinions and experiences with.
     Like I mentioned before I have already learned a lot from my cooperating teacher. I will adopt her sense of presence within the classroom. She demands respect from her students and will not continue talking if they are interrupting her or being disrespectful. She does so in a very commanding and specific way. She knows her students and how to best manage them specifically. She differs her instruction from class to class and knows which topics to avoid and which ones to magnify per each classes overall abilities.
     I am very confused as to why there are not set aside activities for the P.E. department at my school. Maybe there are set aside activities per each day and week that I am not aware of, but I feel that each day is just thrown together last minute. Students are not actively engaged and often get bored with what they are asked to accomplish. I want to add suggestions but am nervous as to how the students will respond. I think they are getting too used to being able to opt out of the activities and 'just walk'. I am very disappointed with the amount of activity level that is going on with the young women in my class. Even when we do play group games there are maybe 4-5 girls in the whole class that are actually trying to play. I am going to suggest adding different opportunities for the girls or any boys who would want to participate such as zumba, pilates, yoga, kickboxing or step aerobics and hopefully we will be able to participate in some of these activities. I think that it is our job to provide physical activities that all students can associate themselves with.
    Overall this was a great week and I learned a lot from both of my cooperating teachers! I love having the opportunity to associate with different teachers in different environments. Ninth graders are a fun bunch to be around and I learn something from them everyday!