This week I have been dealing with a lot of personal thoughts of inadequacies. My English teacher asked me if I wanted to direct the discussion during one of our periods and felt completely inadqequate due to a lack of content knowledge and shear fear. I don't fail at many things in my life. I am a perfectionist and always trying to excel and be better. I was shocked at my own self-doubts and was saddened by my lack of ability. I know I am capable of teaching but my inadequacies in my content areas make it very difficult for me to overcome some of my self-destructive thoughts and fears. I told her that I wasn't quite comfortable with the content at this time. She was very supportive and didn't try to push me at all. During that period she had a discipline issue that she had to deal with and I told her I could take over. It was a great opportunity for me to prove to myself and her that I am and was capable of taking over if she needed me to. I was very surprised that I have even been having feelings of inadequacies, because I am usually extremely confident. It is good to know that I will always be able to learn and grow from where I am.
The highlight of my week came from my interactions with my students. One of my 9th graders who is in both of m P.E. and my English classes came up to me and told me that I am her favorite student teacher she has had. She said she ususally hates them because they are 'annoying' and 'don't know how to teach' and I was very relieved to hear her say that. Building relationships with the students is my favorite part and they are definitely the reason that I love teaching.
I was able to practice the standards based grading system that my English teacher uses in her classroom. She gives them a 1-4 rating and then changes it to display a letter grade (A,B,C, etc.) Students need to be at least at an 85% to receive an A and she makes sure that they know and understand where they are at and why. I really like this practice of teaching and I think it is a good way for students and parents to understand why the student has the certain grade that they have. This way if she has any problems with parents she can simply tell them this is what they have proved to me that they know and can do and this is where they are at in terms of the standard. I think it is a great practice to get in the habit of because standards-based grading is the future wave of education.
I was perplexed this week by the lack of school dress codes within the school. I can't remember if I have written about this yet but it appears to be no dress code at the school and it bothers me constantly. The things that my girls come in wearing are completely distracting and innapropriate. I don't know if there is anything I can do or say but I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a male teacher.
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